a post that really could have been an email, but whatever

yeah, i'm sorry he didn't swing your way.

no, i think it's fine to say that.. i am your friend after all. i talked to gina online today during class, and she was asking all of these really personal questions about what happened with us. i hope i didn't say too much, but if she tells you something i wasn't supposed to say i'm sorry in advance : /. had you told me that the only thing she's going to do in VA is study for the MCAT? because that is insane.

and also, i got another grade back: A-! that means if i get an A or A- in Torts i can end up with a B+ average. i'm not getting my hopes up too high though.

what have you been up to?

waiting...

im waiting for that updated post, mister....

: )

hey hey hey

i was in love with adam for awhile our freshman year of high school.
the summer after freshman year, he told me he was gay.
my mom thought he and i were having sex.
but we werent.
he likes boys.

i was pretty happy on new years.
though it would have been better if you had been there.
am i allowed to say that?

i need a back massage.

yeah the nyt makes me bleed but i always go back for more.
OMG! the marriage questions article has slipped to number 15...
whoa.

top chef is on.

welcome to my blog, im going to post on you now.

oi with the law school already.
you poor thing! at school all day...
welcome to law school....hahahahaha
thats awesome.

i hope your mom likes me. i really like her. i kinda miss her. after all, she is my favorite mckee : )

i facebooked in that class. i also looked at airfare. i kept trying to launch aim express and it wouldnt work. it was sad. i dont know how he expects me to not putz online when i can...

i had baby sheep for dinner.
i miss being a vegetarian.

i had the most boring class today.
and the womens studies center at fau leaves something to be desired.
and its not men.

lycopene may promote health prostates.
break out the ketchup!

did you see the nytimes most emailed? 51% of women are spinsters! oh nooooo...im going to get a cat tomorrow.
what is it with the relationship articles lately? they make me want to kill myself.

im parched.

hurray!

i just realized i can post now. hurray! but still look at my last comment.

oh man.

so im in class.
in a class full of computers.
what was this guy thinking?
how can i focus on the lecture when i can facebook?
gah.

whats in your backpack?

"stuff" isnt a sufficient answer.

i have a new backpack...its plaid : )

i have:
wallet
old spiral notebook from last semester
2 pens
a leaf
bottle of water
colored pencils (for doodling)
scraps of paper (for cartharsis)

im sick of my new music already.
i am the worst pirate ever.

oi vey.

ive been apologizing a lot lately.
gah.
sorry for being lame.
thanks for calling.
it really meant a lot.

i still hate not being able to call you when i feel like it.
when is this restriction going to be lifted?
i agree that it has been constructive.
there have been times when i wanted to call you but didnt.
and thats ok cause it wasnt important. i was just bored.
so i guess thats good.

i think im not going to delete anymore posts.
i keep missing important things.

good luck with your memo.
: )

youre right.
we shouldnt talk.

please feel free to initiate

if you want to post something, please feel free.

just post in the comments.

cool?

sean mckeet!

3 weeks?!
youre nuts.
i dont have time to respond fully right now cause im going to gville and im running late.
but thanks for the response.
i wasnt sure youd check this anymore.
also, thanks for the spell check on "embargoes." i thought there should be an 'e' but i wasnt sure.
there is an article on NYT select thats headline is norris: iraq dominates world politics, not markets. when i saw it all that registered was 'norris dominates' and i thought instantly of chuck norris.
oi.
: )

sorry. i take it back. i dont hate you. ok?

whoa with the melodrama.
im still in awe of what i said and how i acted.
i hate when things dont go my way.
and on top of that i was wicked tired.
damn, this sucks.
on one hand, it is so not a big deal.
im not going to die because of this.
and it will be nice when we do talk again.
on the other hand, i know myself.
and i know that ill miss the phone calls.
im afraid that whenever it is that we do talk, itll be lame.
also, is this setting the pattern?
that we talk once a week?
cause thats lame.

and on yet another hand, i dont know why this matters.
any of it.
when im feeling rational and well rested, i can think clearly about this.
and its all ok.
i would like to be your bff still.
i would like to talk to you as often as i can.
and i know that it might not work out that way, but setting rules about it drives me nuts.
why cant we just see what happens?
i dont like to be told what to do and thats part of the problem.
i would like to talk as much is reasonable and doable.
i hate embargos, parameters, rules, and restrictions.
why cant things be normal?
gah.

seeing this all written out makes me realize that im retarded.
damn it all.

dear sean.

haha
but the last post wasnt really about me.
thanks for the advice, ill pass it along. : )

and construction paper is good.
but i like the torn holes on the side of spiral notebook paper.

i was just tired.

a thing or two.

i want so badly to post something.
i just dont know what.
i think im entering a stage of school induced boringness.
what do you think?
maybe im just tired.

your favorite article is still on the most emailed list.

do you think youre a go with the flow kind of person?
do people who are that sort usually get ahead in life?
what are the personality characteristics of people who succeed most?

im going to color now.

please add this to my list.

the frayed edge of paper torn from a spiral notebook.
it makes me happy.

say its great to be a florida gator

i watched the game with my sisters and mom...i actually enjoyed it.

im afraid that im starting to feel comfortable here. thats a bad thing cause i counted on the fact that i was uncomfortable to keep me motivated to move. now im nervous that i may be getting sucked in.

it scares me.

patience and fortitude

we need it.
i hope we have it.

i blog best in the evening.

its only 5pm.

this doesn't count

i just wanted to say have a good first day of school...
be tough!

if i were there, i would take us on a celebratory picnic at that park after class today.

damn, i wish i were there.

do good!

ive run out of sheep.

its late.
i cant sleep.
i cant quiet my thoughts enough to even close my eyes.

so im watching animal planet to help pass the time.

lets call that last one a mulligan

when a thousand people ask me if i think my plans for my future are good ones i begin to second guess myself. it makes me nervous. so far everyone else has been right about me and my decisions and im afraid to make another mistake.

but then i think that maybe, just maybe, this time ill be right. i want to take the chance. its not the end of the world. and even if it doesnt work out, isnt it worth the chance that it will?

gah.

im obsessed with limewire.

interim post

i think youre new.
or at least young.
i think im new too.
but not as recently as you.
im not sure if we were pigs in a past life, though that would be cool with me.

there was porn on last night.
it sounded promising.
i didnt watch it.
im all porn-ed out.

regine took my truck to gville.
im trapped.
but so far thats ok.

lists.

these are things i need.

for school:
new 'roos
those cool moleskine notebooks
spiffy pumas

for life:
regular bike schedule
finger paints

things that make me happy:
fresh cut grass
project runway
the smell of rain
reading (especially while sitting on overstuffed chairs and/or tuffets)
napping

ive made a list of songs that i need to download.
first i need to download limewire.

bright eyes...bright dies.

so the song is only sad cause we're both pathetic...and lonely.

the video is sweet...you should see it.

what does the song make you think about?
be honest.

it reminds me of a lot of things...real and not so real.
it makes me sad.
but also hopeful.
i lost a love.
but maybe ill get another one someday.

i wish you could love someone and be with that person without all the stress and other associated lameness with relationships. i want to be with someone without being with them.

im starting to sound like you.

i dont know what i want, but i want it all.

pity party for one. dont be too harsh, k?

i feel like a mess. im clinging onto things that have already seen thier glory days but i cant let go. im stuck. im the only one who is so desperate to salvage these relationships...and that kinda hurts. the whole idea of new years resolutions has gotten into my head and now im trying to figure out a way to redo myself. a new year, a new me? i like the old me. no one else does. i cant go on like this, being all pitiful and pathetic but i cant seem to shake it. ive put a lot of energy into certain things and have not been reaping any benefits besides a heavy heart and utter lameness.

god, this sucks.

and, yao my friend, you can tell whoever you like about this blog...its nothing special. i thought it was going to be, but so far, its not. youre the only one i trust with this stuff, for the most part anyway...originally, i wasnt going to tell anyone about it. but you asked :-) and im glad you did. if you ever find that you dont want to comment me into reasonable thought, ill understand.

but i hope that doesnt happen.

i cant wait for school to start. i need a distraction in the worst way.

the top 10 most emailed articles list makes me happy. todays in particular.

i need some absinthe.

questions on this second day

if one wants something and they are completely determined to get it, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
when does determination become a hindrance?
is it reasonble to stop being determined because of other peoples influences?
can determination turn the seeker blind to reason?

hardest day, take one

the first day of a new year is always hard.

resolution number two: i will be assertive.

new year, new promises

ive never made new years resolutions.
i think im going to start this year.
resolution number one: i will not be pathetic.

earlier tonight, i felt existential...and then i turned on the tv. and now i feel numb inside my own skull.

hank is sick.

this is a lame first blog.